Why I'm Not in Uganda Right Now

About two weeks ago marked an entire year since my initial return from Uganda. Crazy, right?! God has done incredible things through that year, but I never thought that this is where I would be. I never even considered not being back in the Pearl of Africa this summer. But here I am: Soldier, Kansas. The question that I have to answer for myself over and over again is this: "Why am I here?"

Let me be open and honest: If I were in charge (thank goodness I'm not), I would've been in Uganda loving on my kids at this very moment. My heart aches with missing them. But God's ways are not the ways of man. He is Sovereign over all, and as hard as it is for me to accept, He tightly closed the door for my return to Uganda until further notice. I've jokingly told a few people that if I were to board a plane to Uganda right now, I think God would send a giant fish to swallow me up for a few days and bring me back to the States.... but I was kind of serious. I wasn't sure why He wanted me here, exactly; I only knew He did. So, I stayed.

I won't claim that I now know the entirety of the reason He hasn't allowed me to go back this summer, but I do think God has opened my eyes to it a little bit:

I needed this time to realize that I have failed. I have failed in keeping up good contact with those I love back in Uganda. I have failed in communicating with you all, and I have failed in making much progress in the ministry and keeping it all organized. I had to realize how deeply I have failed before I could truly realize that He has not. You see, all of those failures are actually symptoms of the real problem: my pride. In it, I've attempted to carry the weight of Bethel on my own. I've tried to take the reigns and "make it happen" because I can do it if I try hard enough, right?

No. I cannot.

As I've said. I tried, and I failed. And I heard the question, "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by human effort?" (Gal. 3:3). And God has used my time at home this summer to humble me and gently pry my clenched hand open and allow Him to take the weight, the responsibility, and the head of all that has happened and will happen in Uganda. After all, He loved them first.

I wish I could explain the weight that lifted from my heart when He gave me the realization of that: When I realized that my failures are inconsequential in the face of my Redeemer; He is Sovereign over all. But at the same time, I thought, now that things were "set right," He would tell me what to do next to jump start Bethel and make up for lost time (my pride again). I  was wrong. Again. Instead, He has called me into a period of waiting. I have learned to appreciate times when God calls me to wait. No, they're not necessarily easy, but it is a time in which I am allowed to sit and dwell upon Him and upon the Gospel. I get to practice waiting expectantly, and in my experience, the wait is well worth it.

So, as for how things are going in Kagarama, Uganda right now, the kids are still being fed, we're working on our garden for the next season, and school is in session, but as for me, I'm waiting. No, I don't have any idea of what is next, and yes, I'm content with that answer because I know the one who is in charge, and He never fails.

I am not in Uganda this summer. I won't be able to go back until God provides, but no matter how much I miss it, I am content to wait upon Him and trust that He has me in the most perfect spot I could be right now. That's enough for me.

Christmas Break in Uganda!

They still love having their picture taken!

 

Working on the corn together!

I could tell you that the time I spent in Uganda over Christmas break was incredible, Spirit-filled, and encouraging, but that would just be a massive understatement! Words fail to describe how heavily God’s hand was upon my time there and the people around me in that time. The more I see how God is moving in our kids, the pastors, and the church members in Uganda, the greater my desire becomes for people to be able to see and understand the incredible power and goodness of my God. I honestly wish I could take every single one of you and physically walk you through the story that the Lord has been weaving before my eyes, because it’s impossible to really grasp the magnitude of what He’s done unless you’ve experienced for yourself every “little thing” falling into place, every wound healed, every barrier brought down. Unfortunately, I can’t share everything in one blog post (or even a hundred blog posts!), but I do want to fill you all in on the major things concerning the ministry that I was able to see while I was there!

First of all, many of you know that upon my return to the States last June, we were blessed financially to be able to buy our second piece of land directly across the road from the first piece God provided for. Since that time, we planted crops on the land and had our first harvest! There is now a stash of beans, sweet potatoes, cassava (a common edible root), and matoke to help with the kids meals! I even had the chance to sit with our children and “prepare” the corn that was harvested to go to the mill to be made into flour (for porridge). The garden has been a huge blessing to the ministry both in providing food for the kids and giving them the opportunity to learn basic farming skills which will be useful far beyond their childhood years. Since Uganda (in most areas) has two growing seasons, we’re gearing up for the next season and will most likely be planting sometime partway through February.

Two of our 3 classrooms! The far one is just about finished!

A front view of some of the classes!

Next, we were able to add a little more to the school building while I was there! It was so amazing to see what had been added since I left! We did face a little bit of a struggle, however, because some very heavy rainstorms had passed through Kagarama and worn down some areas of the bricks that are exposed on the top. We took out the areas that were weakened and rebuilt, but if we don’t continue building soon, the next rainy season has the potential to do the same thing. So, if you’re looking for something to pray for – pray for the provision to finish the school building! The classes themselves, though, are doing great! We even had a P2 member from among our kids place 1^st in an academic competition that was held recently among all of the neighboring village schools! The next school year (which starts in February), we’re going to add another class, Primary 3, for the students who just finished P2. It excites me so much to see their academic growth!

The kids are also doing really well! I am just amazed and in awe of the difference from the first time I met them to now. God has restored their hope! On top of that, they’re all healthy, and just generally more energetic (which may have had something to do with us visiting, but we can’t take all the credit!) As for the 4 who are staying with us in Masaka, Monica, Gideon, Nelson, and Ibra, they’re great as well! When I see them, especially Nelson and Ibra, I see God’s glory. The growth from when they first started living with us to now: it just leaves me speechless! And, we have another addition to the Masaka side of Bethel! We picked up a new little boy, Victor, during my time there! Keep your eyes on the Surrender Uganda Facebook page for information on him!

Nelson and Gideon!

I wish I could share more, but this post is long enough as it is! Please get in contact with me if you’d like to hear more! I’d love to share with you all of the other amazing things God has done! I’m so blessed to see His plans in action… And then to imagine that what I’ve seen of His magnificent plan is only a small fragment of the entire thing – I simply stand in awe of the God who has lavished His unconditional love upon me and saw fit to include me in His perfect design, and I hope hearing all of these things helps you feel the same way!

Monica!

Keep praying and be blessed!

Ibra!

The new little guy, Victor!